Thursday, March 30, 2006

March

the last day is here.
to end the month of March.
to me a month of tears.
a month i will miss so much.

this month of memories.
the month of sorry.
the month grandma went away.
cos God love her and doesn't want her to stay (on earth).

the month of joy for winning most of the Touch games.
the month of ache when the Boyfriend and i didn't meet for quite some time.
the month of depression over the things around me.
the month of confusion as i don't know what i actually want.

the last day is here.
to wrapped all the good and bad time i had.
to keep the moments saved in my heart.
to give me strength and opportunities to improve myself.

Now Listening To: My December
Artist: Likin Park

posted by heartthatcries at 8:00 PM

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

yesterday

Had a dialouge session with the Director of Business School. i Would not have shown up if not for the choosing of the Industrial Attachment Location. i had chosen Touch Singapore as my Attachment Place. but it is not comfirmed yet as Mr Koh have to ballad it as there were three names instead of the required two. well, get it or not, i'll have to wait for the result.

and so, the dialouge session ended at around 3.30p.m. had the birthday celebration for the February and March Babies.
and then, i went to the Mall with my guirls and i took neoprints with them for the first time. the time wasted with them was good as we never get to do it before. stayed at the mall till around 7.30p.m. i had fun girls. thank you. :D

hope to do this again some other time.

okay, got to rush now. getting ready for training @ 4 today in school.
bye.

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are different and yet the same"
-Anne Frank

Now Listening To: If You're Not The One
Artist: Daniel Beddingfield

posted by heartthatcries at 10:22 PM

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

over

Tuesday is over.
Section D of Fundamentals of Fitness was a killer.
I don't even know what crap i wrote.
It was TOTAL CRAP.
hah! Don't want to think of it anymore.

and so i finished my exams for this semester. [phew]
Holiday is here for me.
However have to go school tomorrow to choose attachment place and a dialogue session with..[i have no idea].

Went to National Library @ Bugis. My first time there & it was very nice. Well, some people dragged me along there. [shahidah, Ian & Nicholas] But thanks to them that i got the chance to visit the place. oh ya, all the best for your Last Paper tomorrow. :D

I miss someone.
Shh..

"when i close my eyes, i see you. i think of you every now and then. and wonder if you are thinking of me too. everytime i tried to keep in touch, my feelings is just not right. just am afraid that im not in your mind right now. afraid that i would be an irritating freak to you. well, someday, if you noticed that im in silent mode, i hope you will think of me and look for me. maybe at that moment of time, i need you. maybe at that moment of time, i'm already gone. just want to say, I miss you."

Now Listening To: If You Were Mine
Artist: Marcos Hernandez

posted by heartthatcries at 3:01 AM

Monday, March 27, 2006

far away

First day of the week. & the first day of Exam.

the paper wasn't as hard i expected. Qouted from Shahidah: "No Kick".

but hey, am just hoping to get at least a B for this module. Tomorrow is my LAST paper. Fundimental of Fitness, hope you are not going to be very tough as told. Have mercy please..cos it is not easy to memorise Unit 1 to 14.

okay,all the best to all my mates. happy studying. :D

"i'm sorry for, the person i've become. i'm sorry that, it took so long for me to change."

Now Listening To: Far Away
Artist: Nickleback

posted by heartthatcries at 3:39 AM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

sunday morning

in action against TJC. look @ how dark i am!!!! well 5 is my number.

a pleasant afternoon to all.

[just woke up from a short nap]

i woke up @ 7.30a.m. that early. relatives from Johore coming over to visit the house.

a very tiring start of the day as the family helped the mom prepared some good dishes for the guest. [i love the food ma. thank you.] [BURP]

25/03/2006
The Touch Game was fun and i'm loving it. Mr Sun was not being kind to us though. it was very hot. we had a good start for the game. and also a happy ending. from the ITE ladies team, Mel Tried 2, Fifi 1 and myself 2. it was really exciting to be scoring like this. fell a few times~ on the shoulder, butt, and the knee. but hey, i'm cool. :D

was selected for MVP for the third time. thank you. :D

Final Score: WITE 11 Bedok Knights 1

Final Exam starts tommorow. I'm just hoping that i can do well. yup. No more Comment on Exams. All The Best.

"Happiness depends upon ourselves." - Aristotle

Now Listening To: How Do I deal
Artist: Frankie J

posted by heartthatcries at 1:03 AM

Friday, March 24, 2006

when im gone

class was a nightmare for MR KOH HC today. out of 41 kids, only 7 turned up. im glad i'm one of the seven. [GRIN]
Fundamental of Fitness result is out. i scored 23 of 38. [i could have done better. really.]
class ended @ 11.30a.m today. pupils are to leave school by 1 p.m.
today is ITE College East opening ceremony and the security have been very tight this week. police officers were there for the rehersals. cos the PM is the Guest of Honour. am really gald i was'nt involve. [GRIN.AGAIN]
cleared locker for the new intake in May.
exams coming up next week. schedule as follow:

Business Communication Management ~ 27/03/2006, 0830-1030hrs
Fundamental of Fitness ~ 28/03/2006, 0830-1030hrs

i'm not really sure if i can maintain a 3 point this term. cos this semester suck big time.

i already got a 'C' for one of my elective module - First Aid.

[do well nana. just do well for it.]

tommorow's game is against Bedok Knights. was told they are stronger than Cheeky Sneaky. [phew] just hope "the default" look wont be very obvious from tommorow onwards. ;D

all the best ladies. all the best me.

i look out my window.

i look up at the sky.

i made a wish.

a wish i wished i never said goodbye.

i feel pain when i hear your voice.

but i know i don't have a choice.

i never want to let go.

for you are someone that i adore.

i tried to close the door.

it made my heart feel sore.

i know things are'nt going to be the same.

and that we are going on a different lane.

when i'm gone one day,

think of me as you pray.

always remember that you are one thing i have kept near my heart.

Now Listening To: When I'm Gone

Artist: Eminem

posted by heartthatcries at 3:31 AM

Thursday, March 23, 2006

heartthatlistens

check out a poem website @ www.lovelandia.com .
this is where i had submitted two poems on 16/03/2006, title: where are you?
and another one on 22/03/2006, title: love me. hate me.
check it out if you are free k. its under Love Poems. Just click on the pages on the website and find the date i posted it yea. :D thank you.

okay, for today, i shall use where are you? for the poem of the day.
Here goes:

I thought you were the one.I made believe that things will never change.The love we shared was so perfect,until I found out you played behind my back.
Tell me what have I done to deserve this?Why can't you stay with me?I don't even get one last kissyou just left leaving me lonely.I was left with a broken heart,with a thousand question asking why.Why did you leave me?And let my heart bleed and die.I still think about you.And wonder if you are thinking of me too.For I miss those times together,when you said we'll be together forever.Where have you gone to?I still cry for you.

Has been viewed: 535 times
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thursday is over. weekend is coming. happy friday!!

Now Listening To: You Belong To Me (OST Shrek)
Artist: Jason Wade of Lifehouse

posted by heartthatcries at 4:27 AM

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

where are you? Part II

the alarm woke my sister-in-law this morning. and i felt bad about it cos its my alarm. sorry sister-in-law. :/

Mood: Guilty + i-don't-give-a-damn

today was another tutting day (not the whole day though. erm,from 9.30am to 10.15am?)
well, i had my Entrepreneurship presentation this morning. suposingly, it have to start @ 8.30a.m. but i came an hour later. miss entrepreneurship (the teacher) was pissed off and started to be sarcastic.

Mood: Cool

as what happened most of the time, miss "faster lah" pulled a black face. hey look, im sorry i was late. i know i should'nt. but you have to see the real hidden situation. then you will understand. :D

Mood: Cannot be bothered

had my Fundamental of Fitness CA @ 1230hr in the Lecture Theatre. Great. i didn't open my book until 15mins before the test. am just so tired to absorb. being selfish to the good nana.
done it, wrapped it up and went home. WEEEEEEEE!!!

okay la. i think this is so much already.
my internet connection can be disconnected any time (any where, any one. hehe!)
bill overdue. ;p

Now Listening To: I've Been Trying To Reach You
Artist: Anthony Green

posted by heartthatcries at 2:10 AM

where are you?

"i think im depress. i think im going insane. im weak.
the load was monsterous and disasterous. i wished that the time would stop. the earth would open up. and eat me alive."

yesterday was the hell-iest day of my entire going-to-be 20th life. school projects is driving me nuts.and yeah, i created history- left school very bloody late yesterday at (tick-tock-tick-tock) 2200hrs. my mind is totally shut and the brain feel sore. thanks to the financial plan that we have to do for this one-of-a-hell project, Entrepreneurship. at that moment of time, the body was working but not the brain.(it wants a few-hours off) and so, unintentionally, unexpectedly the load pushed me too far that i broke down like a 2-year-old when mama called to check my where-being and started nagging. i don't care Laura was infront of me. i cried. and i felt a little better. but the fact that is a fact: the financial planning shit was not yet completed.
my soul yelled for help. my brain told me to give up. my heart don't stop praying for strength and endurance.
thank goodness, an angel nearby heard my inner cries. and God send us Daniel Khoo. he was the one who helped us with the typing out of the financial planning. thank you daniel. i greatly appreciate it. (and oh, i know you saw my sore eyes from crying.hey..thanks ya?)
oh well. this was what happened. a lesson to review. a lesson to learnt.

Guess who's Back? Back again? Papa'a Back!!! weeeee!!

Now Listening To: Motivation
Artist: Sum41

posted by heartthatcries at 12:23 AM

Monday, March 20, 2006

i miss you

first and for most, i would like to thank shahidah for her time today when i shared some uncontrolled emotions. thank you for being there.
and so, 19/03/2006 was The Bestfriend's 20th birthday.
i was stuck with my Entrepreneurship project again but thank god i managed to finished it up, and made my way to meet her. it was pouring cats and dogs and i actually tore the paper bag which i wrapped the present with. what worst can i expect? the notes flew and kiss the rain.
it was so disastrous that i wished for everything to pause. didnt make it on time.
well, it was'nt the best birthday outing that The Bestfriend deserved. but i tried. i was clueless as to where to bring her. so the time was wasted @ Town before we proceed to The Bestfriend's Aunt's place for the celebration.

okay. nothing much happened. the present's on hold. sorry bestfriend.

i went to school today just to attend a Sports Seminar for the Sports Management Course students. it was'nt that bad as i expected. it was indeed a good one. especially with Wendy Cho. she is good. :D

had dinner with The Family. All are present - (there were no apologies for absence)
expect papa, who will be back by this week. come home soon papa. WE MISS YOU.

i closed my eyes.
i think of the past.
a wonderful loving family.
that will last for eternity.
a newborn was welcomed.
the older one was gone.
a cycle of life that god bring us.
a family of 8,
a family of joy.
a family of love,
a family of mine.

dedicated to my late grandparents. i miss you.

Now Listening To: She's Gone
Artist: Steel Heart

posted by heartthatcries at 4:17 AM

Saturday, March 18, 2006

she misses her

she stands infront of the mirror.
looked inside her eyes to get some answers.
she could'nt see why,
as the time passed by,
she is not being happy
like she used to be.
she misses her perfect smile,
the laughter that pollutes the air.
she wanted to become her.
the girl staring back at her
the one she used to be-
she misses to be happy.
she misses to smile
she misses to laugh
she misses the things she used to have.

i was in deep emotional distraction last night.
it was too heavy that tears was my lullaby to sleep.
1) i hurt my dearest bestfriend when i didnt make it to her place @ night. (mama didn't allow me to.its true.)
2) i think i lost a friend last night.
3) i think i cared for someone too late that the person is drifting away. (hey,This person found a new friend. im happy as long as she is.keep on smiling eh?)

earlier @ Turf City:

Before Play-
Anne: hey! don't play if you are scared!
(gosh.i got that right on my face.infront of my team mates.infront of our opponents and infront of some club players.)

On the Pitch-
Anne: Good hands nana! C'mon. you can do it.
(after i passed her some stupid ball throw i guess.)
Anne: C'mon nana. you can do it. you are a good player. dont be scared.
(after WITE made a third try.)

After Play-
a light tap on my shoulder. (paused)
Fiona: Can i talk to you for a while?
(god. by this time, my heart really feels like melting.-the emotional syndrome-)
we spoke for a few minutes on the way we played. but most of it is about my confidence. i was told to be more confident as i have the speed and skill to help the team. i accept it as i was really looking and feeling VERY nervous. i found out something from some team mates yesterday- Scared is my default look on every game.

Final Score: WITE 4 Sneaky Cheecky 3

Now Listening To: Goodbye my Lover
Artist: James Blunt

posted by heartthatcries at 6:43 PM

Friday, March 17, 2006

heartbreaker

9.30a.m. the time i woke up from sleep because baby Norman cried for milk. :D
this cute little thing always made me smile. love you baby.

okay, im not even washed up and already am using the computer to update.
and oh yes. the scream of the lioness (my mama) + the sweet-bitchy-sexy lady (my sister) polluted the house. :O
the clock reads: 10.05a.m. i will be getting ready for my touch rugby game soon which is held @ Turf City at 2.40p.m. (better be kind Mr Sun. please dont burn me like you did for the last few weeks. thank you. :D)
today will be against one of the monsterous team - cheecky sneaky? cheecky sneaky? either way, which is actually JJC. God, please save us from beeing eaten up so bad if we have to lose. please let us enjoy it if we are winning. ;D

why do we seems to want the things that we will not get?
why do we keep hoping for it?
why does it hurt so much to be thinking of you?
when you dont even care what i do?
tell me the truth when you love me no more.
leave me when you think we cant make it through together.
walk away when you need me no more.
and forget those times when im your dear.
you told me you'll always be there.
but it seems now that you don't even care.
where are you now?
where have you been?
why do i have to deserve this?
if you love me no more,
i will understand.
but please have a heart,
to at least be my friend.
i miss you.
i do.
i hate myself for loving you.

Now Listening To: I miss you
Artist: Aaliya

posted by heartthatcries at 5:58 PM

Thursday, March 16, 2006

welcome to heartthatcries

a pleasant welcome to everyone who reads my blog. :)
thank you so much for making time to read the begining of whatmyheartsays.
i hope to update every time i have the time, even when im loaded with my things.

thank you.

listen to my heart.nana.

posted by heartthatcries at 10:31 PM

Name: heartthatcries

Monotonous is the middle name. boisterous in hyper situation. Silent when thinking. forgetful when hurried. smiles everytime. cries when in pain. laughs when worried. SITI.MONOTONOUS.MAS'AINAH. look through me. then, you will see.

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